Where's the Girl?
by The-Darkness-In-The-Bright
Summary: Songfic to Where's the Girl? Major DH Spoilers! Severus Snape's redemption. Reviews are much appreciated!


_A/N: None of the characters are mine, nor is the song. Characters are Rowling's and the song is from The Scarlet Pimpernel. I heard it and immediately thought of Snape after the events of DH. Enjoy!_

"We are gathered here today to mourn two wonderful people…"

Severus Snape tuned Remus Lupin out as he gazed miserably at the female body in the coffin. A beautiful woman with flowing dark red hair and a porcelain face lay, dressed in black silk robes. Her eyes were closed, as if she was asleep, and her hands were clasped in front of her, holding a bouquet of white lilies. Lily Potter and her husband James were dead. And now, Severus had to watch as they buried the only true friend he had ever known, and the woman he pined for from afar.

**I remember days full of restlessness and fury **

**I remember nights that were drunk on dreams**

**I remember someone who hungered for the glory**

**I remember her, but it seems she's gone**

As a 10-year-old, he remembered sitting in the park near his home, just to get away from the arguing, the screaming and the raised hand of his father. Two girls would always come to play there. One was 11, the other, 10. One blonde, horse-faced, tall and scowling. The other, red-haired, bubbly and gorgeous, with the brightest emerald eyes ever seen. Petunia and Lily Evans. Severus would sit under a tree and just watch as Petunia and Lily played with each other on the swings and merry-go-round and raced each other from one end of the children's area of the park to the other. Lily nearly always beat Petunia, and her triumphant laughter rang like silver bells in Severus' ears. At night, he would just lie curled up in bed, thinking about Lily's beautiful red hair, intelligent and sparkling green eyes and pearly smile. The sound of her laughter would lull him to sleep with a soft smile on her face.

**Where's the girl? **

**Where's the girl with the blaze in her eyes? **

**Where's the girl with that gaze of surprise? **

**Now and then I still dream she's beside me **

**Where's the girl who could turn on the edge of a knife?**

**Where's the girl who was burning for life?**

**I can still feel her breathing beside me **

**And I know she remembers how fearless it feels**

**To take off with the wind at her heels **

**She and I took this world like a storm **

**Come again!**

It had come as a bit of a shock when Lily had displayed signs of magic in the park. Severus had told her she was a witch and would most likely be going to Hogwarts with him. He had hoped he and Lily would be in the same house…but she had been Sorted into Gryffindor whilst he was a Slytherin. Of all the different combinations of houses two friends could get put into, they had to be rival houses. Still, they had always sat next to each other in class. In Potions, they were the power-duo, Evans and Snape. Both were equally skilled and worked calmly, making one perfect potion after another. Severus still shivered as he remembered Lily laughingly whispering secrets in his ear, her gentle breath warm on his neck. She also had a legendary temper, especially when her future husband and his three best friends pulled pranks on him or bullied him. The furious glare she sent to the Marauders was enough to kill a full-grown man. Severus should know – after she found out he was hanging out with Death Eaters and was being recruited, the same glare was reserved for him, after her look of horrified surprise that broke his heart.

**Let the girl in your heart tumble free**

**Bring your renegade heart home to me**

**In the dark of the morning, I'll warm you **

**I'll rouse you**

He didn't know when he started to love her. He always thought it had been when he'd first laid eyes on her. After they'd become friends, he'd always wanted more…but he'd done nothing. If he tried, she'd leave him. He'd rather she was his best friend than nothing at all. One night he had met her in the woods and they had stayed there, looking up at the stars and just talking about magic. There they had made a pact to be best friends at Hogwarts. Severus had smiled and put his arm around Lily as they sat against the trunk of an oak tree, gazing at the blinking diamonds that adorned the black velvet of the sky. Merlin above, he missed her so much, he thought forlornly as the coffin was lowered into the ground after her husband's. He had begged Remus to allow him to help with the burial, telling him that despite being a Death Eater and spy for the Order, he was still Lily's best friend. The kind werewolf had given in and told the new Potions Master that he would be permitted to cover the coffins with dirt. As he did so, tears rolled down his face in misery. He made no move to stop them.

**My Lily, don't forget I know who you are **

**We were cut from the same surly star **

**Like two jewels in the sky sharing fire **

**Where's the girl so alive and still aching for more? **

**We had dreams that were worth dying for **

**We were caught in the eye of a storm **

**Come again!**

"Lily, I-"

"Sev, I'm engaged," His eyes widened and he took a step back.

"W-What?"

"James proposed. We're getting married a fortnight after graduation," Lily said calmly, happiness blazing in her beautiful green eyes. Merlin, he could get lost in their green depths. They had barely spoken after their 6th year, after Severus had accidentally referred to her as a Mudblood one too many times.

"I-I…well, con-congratulations, I suppose," Severus forced a smile on his face as he added another ingredient, glancing at the sparkling diamond on her finger he had not noticed. Graduation was tomorrow.

"I'd like you to come," Lily said, stirring the potion gently.

"Lily, your boy-_fiancé_ and his friends hates me with a flaming passion. And I'm afraid the feeling is mutual," Severus chopped his roots with more ferocity than was needed. "I'm afraid the likeliness of me comingto your wedding is as likely as Lupin losing his temper – very slim and only in the most extreme circumstances," Lily sighed.

"James wouldn't pay any attention to you, Sev. Please…and what've you decided about what we discussed before?" Lily asked in a low voice. Severus' heart sunk. She had the mind of an elephant.

"I've lessened my company with Mulciber – the most I spoke to him all week was to ask him to pass the potatoes…but I'm afraid an appointment set with the Dark Lord cannot be changed or cancelled. Unless I die before that day, I have to be there," Severus sighed, holding in his excitement. Lily looked at him in pity and with a sigh, turned back to the potion. It would be the last time they spoke properly.

**Let the girl in your heart tumble free **

**Bring your renegade heart home to me**

**In the dark of the morning, I'll warm you**

**I'll rouse you**

Snape collapsed to the ground as he remembered Lily. His best friend, his lost love. He gasped for breath as blood streamed from his face. As the Dark Lord swept from the room without a care in the world, another figure appeared next to him and knelt at his side. This one with messy black hair and green eyes glinting behind glasses. Harry Potter. The boy looked horrified at the spy's state, but Severus had to show him the truth. With weakening arms, he grabbed the front of Harry's robes and brought him close to his lips.

"Take it…take it," he whispered hoarsely. He focused, and his memories began to leak out of his mouth. Hermione Granger, who stood behind her best friend, conjured a glass bottle out of thin air and Harry collected the silvery liquid. If he wasn't dying, Snape would have chuckled inwardly. Hermione was just like Lily. When the bottle was full, Snape's vision began clouding and his arms slackened on Harry's robes. No! He couldn't go yet! Not without…

"Look at me," he forced out. Harry removed his glasses and did so, Lily's eyes meeting his own cold black ones. With a small sigh, Snape knew he could die happy now that he had seen Lily's eyes in his last moment. His vision darkened and he felt a sense of liberation before…nothing.

**Where's the girl? **

**Is she gazing at me with surprise? **

**Do I still see that blaze in her eyes? **

He felt as if he was weightless. He realized he could see and realized he was naked and lying down on grass. Embarrassed, he wished he had his own clothes as he curled up. To his surprise, as he wished it, the familiar black trousers, shoes and mandarin collared overcoat with a white shirt appeared. Relieved, he donned them quickly and stood. He looked around and realized with a shock it was a playground. The same playground where he had first seen Lily.

"So many memories…right, Sev?" a familiar, soothing voice came from behind him. Hardly hoping or daring to dream, he slowly turned and realized, with shock and delight that Lily Potter nee Evans stood before him, dressed in beautiful white robes and an even more beautiful smile. With a smile spreading across his face, he strode over to her and embraced her, breathing in the scent of roses that he knew and loved.

"I missed you," he murmured into her lush red hair. She broke the embrace with a dazzling smile.

"I know. And though you have treated my son shabbily," Severus looked a little embarrassed at that. "I forgive you…because you saved him, Severus. I'm so proud of you," Lily kissed his cheek gently. That one action and her words filled him with so much happiness; he knew he could produce the universe's greatest Patronus. "Come. There's something you should see," The scene shifted, and he found himself with Lily at the lake at Hogwarts. Three men and another woman were waiting for them, sitting lazily at the water's edge. Severus realized that he was looking at Lily's husband James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus and Nymphadora 'Tonks' Lupin. All of them looked young and happy, as they had been after they had graduated from Hogwarts. Tonks' hair was waist-length and bubblegum pink and she waved jauntily at the approaching duo.

"Severus, mate! Pull up a bit of grass and take a look!" she grinned at him as they sat. Remus smiled at him.

"You've done well, Severus," he said quietly, patting his back. James held out a hand for the Potions Master to shake.

"I can't believe what a prat I was, Severus," it was the first time Severus Snape had heard James Potter use his proper name. "You've done so much for Lily and Harry…it's much more than I deserve. Thank you," his words were so humble and contrite that Severus merely nodded and shook his hand. Sirius clapped him on the back. He didn't need to say a word. His eyes said it all. Severus knew that he could not fully forgive them, and probably never would. However, he could move on from the slights of old, for it did not matter anymore.

"And I know Harry has forgiven you too. Look," Lily whispered as she waved a hand over the water. The ripples created soon revealed a scene that would take place in 19 years. Harry Potter was a man now, and married to Ginny Weasley. Severus chuckled softly, not envying Harry for being married to the strong-willed spitfire. With him were his 3 children. Lily told Severus their names. One was 12, with messy black hair and hazel eyes – James Sirius Potter. The girl was 9 – Lily Luna Potter. But Severus dismissed these two, focusing on middle child.

"You missed out the last one, Lily. Your youngest grandson. He looks like he's old enough for Hogwarts now. What's his name?" Severus asked. The boy was a spitting image of his father. Lily had happy tears in her eyes.

"That, Sev, is Albus Severus Potter," Severus looked at the boy in astonishment. He looked at Lily, stunned. She smiled and gestured at the water. They could hear Harry and Albus speaking now,

"'_What if I'm in Slytherin?'_

'_Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.'"_

Severus felt tears fill his eyes as Lily gave him another hug. It was then that he knew that he was finally at peace.

**Am I dreaming, or is she beside me now?**


End file.
